“We are here to live out loud.” – Balzac
I remember reading a parenting book that stated that by age 4, kids lied on average about once every 2 hours and by age 6, every 90 minutes. I’ve never seen a statistic about how much grown-ups lie, it’s probably not even measurable.
But I generally believe most things people, including my children, tell me. I think what is truly dangerous aren’t lies but instead when we forget to tell our truth. It’s the subject of my latest post on Pointless Overthinking: Conditions of Truth.
(featured photo from Pexels)
That statistic is startling! It would be interesting to see one on adults. I read up on Pointless Overthinking…sounds like a neat group to be a part of! Hope you have a GREAT day 🙂
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Wouldn’t it? And yes, I feel honored to be a part of Pointless Overthinking – a great group of people! I hope you have a GREAT day too, Grace!
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There is a lot of research, Wynne, which suggests that lying is part of our survival instinct. Children learn to lie to avoid being hurt and that trait never leaves us. I read your post over at Pointless Overthinking and agree, we all hold our version of the truth, which is where many conflicts arise. Thank you for sharing these posts on this subject.
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Thank you for mentioning that research. How interesting! And your comment about the conflicts that arise because of our versions of truth is spot on. Thank you for adding that to the conversation!
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That is quite the interesting thought piece, Wynne. Startling but nonetheless unsurprising statistic about kids and lying and you’re right, the non-truths and half truths that adults tell are probably staggering to even consider.
I know when my little one is not telling the truth and it often relates to not wanting to be scolded of reprimanded for doing something perceived to be wrong. It is kinda sad how early we learn as humans go do that eh?
And definitely agree on the “Everything is fine” response to avoid getting into a conversation for whatever reason. I certainly do it all the time. How lucky we are, as you said, to have wonderful friends and families in our lives whom we can be completely vulnerable with.
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I love the “eh” in your comment, Ab! So endearing! As is the rest of your comment – yes! It is a little sad how early we learn to do that – and reading Julia’s comment, I think she’s right that in addition to the factors you name, it’s the fear of loss of love. Indeed, thank goodness for all the people we can be vulnerable with!
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Haha, I didn’t even think about the eh. Must be a Canadian thing!
Julia’s comments were very insightful!
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There are big lies, little lies, white lies; there are the lies we tell ourselves, the things that we don’t admit out loud to ourselves or others that show up in the form denial and avoidance. The way I see it is that fear is cause of all lies—fear of retribution, punishment, embarrassment and God knows what else—but the biggest fear of all is fear of loss of love. If we all just knew how lovable we all are, lies might be wiped off the face of the earth. Well, maybe someday…..Another great post, Wynne. Thank you!
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Oh my goodness, Julia – you so concisely summed it up. Yes, the loss of love, indeed. Your comment reminds me of Jimi Hendrix, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” And that starts with knowing how lovable we are. So wise – thank you for this gift of a comment!
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Those stats made me feel a little better about the fact that we’ve caught Joe lying several times recently. I don’t remember this being the case with the girls. At least it’s not just him. Still…
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I very much understand the still… but apparently it is a part of the executive function developing in the brain. Somehow we are supposed to applaud it. 🙂
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Executive function developing in the brain? Meh. How about the virtuous function developing in the brain? I guess that requires more work! 🙂
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Ha, ha, ha! No doubt that part takes more work. Must be why so many adults don’t get it. 🙂
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