An Honest Mistake

Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” – Rainier Maria Rilke

I wrote a post for today to celebrate one year of doing a post every day. Then I looked back at my posts to confirm whether it was May 19th or May 18th when I started the practice, I found that I skipped a post on June 11th. Damn! If I hadn’t looked, I could have posted my victory lap and it would have been an honest mistake but once I knew, then I couldn’t celebrate because it became a dishonest mistake.

Not that I think anyone who reads the blog would have noticed. In fact, there could be some followers who wished I skipped more than one day, if you know what I mean… 😉

But somehow it matters to me because I think that if I’m going to go to the effort to write about my life, I might as well be as honest as I can be. I’m sure I have blind spots that keep me from seeing who I am in totality but at the very least I can not believe the BS my brain produces when I see it. Because when I do buy into the fiction, it just wraps one more layer between me and my experience of life that keeps me from feeling the beautiful, joyful, and yes, sometimes gritty reality.

I dated a guy when I was in my early 30’s who was always telling me what a nice guy he was. He’d usually say that as an addendum to a story he’d be relating from work or his first marriage that involved a kerfuffle of some sort. And because he got into a lot of disagreements that related to him needing to be in control or not listening very well, he had to tell me quite often what a nice guy he was. I think he really thought of himself that way but (and this probably goes without saying) I think that he was many things good and bad but objectively speaking, he wasn’t that nice of a guy.

Reflecting on the relevance of this to life, I went looking through Brené Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart to find the section on Places We Go To Self-Assess. There are three definitions offered there:

Pride: Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishments or efforts.”

Hubris: Hubris is an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments.”

Humility: Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections, and opportunities for growth.”

I loved that Brené Brown includes that word humility derives from the Latin word meaning groundedness. So I’m practicing humility to try to accurately assess my blogging contribution and opportunities for growth until I actually reach the 365 days of posting. And then I’ll celebrate the milestone with pride, not hubris, I hope!

Anyone else meet a “nice” guy that wasn’t? Or discovered an honest mistake recently?

(featured photo from Pexels)

32 thoughts on “An Honest Mistake

  1. I found it interesting how you took two seemingly different ideas and wove them together… I was eagerly reading to see how you were going to do that! That’s something I’ve noticed you doing with great skill! You take a simple idea and eloquently add to it, giving it a new life! Congratulations on your accomplishment! I had set out to do that too during the pandemic and once I did I found my posts switched to a different style.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Tamara! That is high praise coming from you. I’m fascinated by your observation that once you did that, your posts. Yes – as we practice different things, there’s an observable effect even though it sometimes takes me some time to figure out what! Happy Friday!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks so much! You too! I’ve been noticing how once we (collective) accomplish things that we find new challenges to focus on, that we don’t always keep doing the same things! Just follow your joy, no matter what.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post. I can really relate to it. I like how you said that if you’re going to go to the effort to write about your life, you might as well be honest. That’s exactly how I feel about my blog. I also read “Atlas of the Heart” and appreciate how Brene breaks down all of the emotions and explains them in such a clear-cut way, backing it all up with social science research. This book is a keeper.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Rhonda! I’m so grateful that it resonated with you. And yes, Atlas of a Heart with all the emotions, stories and research is a keeper, as you put it so well! Happy Friday!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wynne, I am trying to wrap my head around the goal of blogging every day. That’s drive and discipline. My absolute passion is adventures in the outdoors, be it fishing, hunting, photography or guiding wilderness trips. But, I couldnt do it everyday…
    On the flip side of the coin, us readers are getting to know you as you write about life through your lens.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And you have the adventure stories to show for it, Gary! I love being outdoors (and reading your stories about it) too although I couldn’t do that every day either. Especially as I age and need some recovery time. Blogging every day doesn’t take the same level of commitment as preparing for a climb or wilderness trip.

      And thank you! I’m so grateful to be getting to know you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Blogging every day is definitely a task I respect. I have taken on a similar task. Briefly I studied Turkish daily, then German, but now I study Spanish daily and am over 637 days in (so far). Twice a day I spend about a half hour. If my day is busy I skip the evening but not the morning. I have a goal of fluency so I can surprise my friends in Mexico City.

    I found it strange that someone would repeat what a nice guy he is. I liken it to someone who always talks about their gifts to charity. Honest mistakes – I read a little quote about the three gates of speech awhile back and now I hold off before I respond to emails and texts for awhile if they prompt an emotional reaction. I think I have finally learned that you can’t change people, secondly to make sure I read the email or text correctly, and third whether my response could be worded differently for understanding of how I feel rather than pointing a finger at them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whoa, David – 637 days of language lessons. That’s great. I love the goal and can’t wait to read about it if you ever chose to write about it.

      I’m laughing about people talking about their gifts to charity. Yep – you nailed it with that parallel!

      I love your three gates of speech – what a lovely practice to foster healthy communication, especially when an emotional reaction is sparked. Thank you for sharing that!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Congrats on writing a blog post a day for a whole year. Missing one day is nothing in the grander scheme of things 🙂 I’ve committed to writing one post a week and have failed to do so on many occasions. Not every day is conducive to writing. As to honest mistakes, I recall an embarrassing one of congratulating a woman I had just met on her pregnancy only to be rebutted, “I’m not pregnant.” Never again would I make such an honest mistake!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Rosaliene! You are right – not every day is conducive to writing and when I get to 365 posts (because now I’m so close), I’m going to take that to heart so that when I have a dog of a post, I’ll leave it unpublished. 🙂 But congratulations to you on your writing – you’ve done it for many more years and many more total days than me!

      That’s a great example of an honest mistake! Oh boy!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! Such a great post, and so many insightful comments from readers! A one-year blogathon is quite an accomplishment! I do believe that you are just the tiniest bit entitled to pat yourself on the back—and knowing you, it will be done quietly, with gratitude and humility. What an inspiration you are!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. June 12 is just around the corner, Wynne. Your victory lap is on its way and will be worth the honest wait!

    I always get leery – or is it weary? – of people who go on about how nice they are. Actions as they say always speak louder than words – which is the thing to focus on.

    We made it to another Friday. Hooray. Enjoy the long weekend ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s a significant accomplishment to publish the quality of posts I see here, day after day for a year. So you missed a day. We don’t care, at least the ones that like you and your writing don’t. So let. yourself not mind too. (Please.) As for the “nice guy” question, it’s a loaded one, and I shall pass. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m laughing about the loaded question, Susan. You are so right!!

      And thank you so much for the lovely and kind comment about my writing. I really, really appreciate your encouragement!

      Like

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